Ok - Recently I've been called out as a racist. So I've been told to apologize.
Although I'm pretty sure that the 4 people that have seen this blog don't think I'm a racist or they would have said something to me directly.
Here's the deal - I was just playing around one day, surfing the web for funny videos and decided that most of the funny stuff goes unnoticed. SSSSOOO - hey why not pull it all together so others don't have to spend their own time finding it! RIGHT?!?! That is what I wanted to do...
Well - come to find out, the people of color make me laugh more than white people. Why is that so wrong. I'm not saying I want to drag them behind a truck or hang them in my back yard - they just do crazy shit that I wouldn't do.
So, with that being said - I'M NOT A RACIST. I PROMISE. ARE WE COOL?!? PLEASE?
Friday, February 29, 2008
Thursday, February 28, 2008
This was clearly written by someone in the UK, but most apply here.
It's a pretty good list and everybody likes a good list, right?
You might notice some numbers are out of sequence. I took some out that don't apply in the lovely US (stupid British Fuck!)
1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.
5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator.
6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
8) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.
10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
11) You never know where to look when eating a banana.
12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.
14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.
15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the
first given opportunity.
19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.
21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong!
23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
24) You never ever run out of salt.
25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.
26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something.
28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan. - I'M SORRY, BUT WHAT THE FUCK DOES THIS MEAN?
31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard
32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood
specifically to stir paint with.
33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
34) Bricks are horrible to carry.
35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.
You might notice some numbers are out of sequence. I took some out that don't apply in the lovely US (stupid British Fuck!)
1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.
5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator.
6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
8) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.
10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
11) You never know where to look when eating a banana.
12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.
14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.
15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the
first given opportunity.
19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.
21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong!
23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
24) You never ever run out of salt.
25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.
26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something.
28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan. - I'M SORRY, BUT WHAT THE FUCK DOES THIS MEAN?
31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard
32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood
specifically to stir paint with.
33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
34) Bricks are horrible to carry.
35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
This is old school thievery!
Sorry about the link. This is an article about a jewelry heist, where the thieves tunnelled into the store. They had been digging since Christmas.
HELL YEA - if I was going to steal something, that is how I would do it.
Now - granted, this is from the NY Post. I'm pretty sure the Post is like the Dallas Observer (more bullshit than content). But whatever, the story is kickass!
OSCAR GEM HEIST
HELL YEA - if I was going to steal something, that is how I would do it.
Now - granted, this is from the NY Post. I'm pretty sure the Post is like the Dallas Observer (more bullshit than content). But whatever, the story is kickass!
OSCAR GEM HEIST
Monday, February 25, 2008
"I'm Fucking Ben Affleck"
I'm sure by now everyone has seen Sarah Silverman's "I'm Fucking Matt Damon" video. Well...Kimmel came up with his on version.
Personally, I think Kimmel is a giant douche bag, but this is pretty funny.
Personally, I think Kimmel is a giant douche bag, but this is pretty funny.
Friday, February 22, 2008
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Monday, February 18, 2008
Friday, February 15, 2008
Monday, February 11, 2008
Friday, February 8, 2008
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME - THIS MADE THE 10:00 NEWS
Picture this: I'm sitting there watching Jane and Mike, finishing up my "last beer for the night"; I just heard about Romney stepping down; I just heard about somebody stomping a baby to death - you know, the importarnt stuff. THEN THIS...
http://video.nbc5i.com/player/?id=215534
(sorry - you've got see the vid after the jump - and, of course, there's a God Damned commercial)
FIRST THE FUCK OFF - that chic's husband needs to have his balls examined. What pussy would allow this to go on in him own home - faggot!
J.C. - Channel 5 has GOT to be the biggest excuse of a news station ever to put on the air.
http://video.nbc5i.com/player/?id=215534
(sorry - you've got see the vid after the jump - and, of course, there's a God Damned commercial)
FIRST THE FUCK OFF - that chic's husband needs to have his balls examined. What pussy would allow this to go on in him own home - faggot!
J.C. - Channel 5 has GOT to be the biggest excuse of a news station ever to put on the air.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Monday, February 4, 2008
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Friday, February 1, 2008
He said beaner...
I thought this was funny. As I was getting "up to date" this morning reading D Magazine's blog; they had this to say about a Farmers Branch attorney. MAN - they are some racists fuckers up there. Either that or just DUMB!
A Farmers Branch attorney is in trouble for saying that guessing the number of Hispanic voters in the city is like estimating “the number of beans in jar.” He later apologized, saying that he didn’t know “beaner” was a derogatory term for Hispanics, noting that he should have memorized Chong’s improvised song from Cheech and Chong’s Next Movie (the one following Cheech’s smash “Mexican-Americans”) titled “Beaners.”
A Farmers Branch attorney is in trouble for saying that guessing the number of Hispanic voters in the city is like estimating “the number of beans in jar.” He later apologized, saying that he didn’t know “beaner” was a derogatory term for Hispanics, noting that he should have memorized Chong’s improvised song from Cheech and Chong’s Next Movie (the one following Cheech’s smash “Mexican-Americans”) titled “Beaners.”
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